Hollywoody.

Hello blog! We forgot about you. Oops.

Since our last post, a lot has happened. Steph & Ryan spent a few days passed out drunk in Vegas, and I headed to LA. Of course, I'm a loser, so I went with my mother.

We went in celebration of her 49th birthday. Do not tell her that I told you her age. She would kill me. Literally. When I travel, I plan every second of the trip. I plan time to take naps. I go a little overboard to say the least. But, because of this we always get to do a lot of fun activities! I'm 60. 

We were lucky enough to get into a taping of The Tonight Show. The guests were a tall guy and a skinny chick. They were nice and funny enough. I loved every second of it. 

Universal Studios Hollywood may be the greatest theme park on the planet. The studio tour and the Transformers ride were a few of our favorite things. Also, if you ever get a chance to go, get the front of the line pass. There are mobs of people, and it saves a great deal of time. Sure it costs an arm and a leg, but it's worth it.

            

The second picture was on the set of War of the Worlds. Very Cool!

Santa Monica pier was also a highlight of the trip. I could have done without the hour it took to find a parking space, and once again an absurd amount of people, but it was beautiful.

LA is gorgeous. There are a lot of fun things to do, places to eat, and hot people everywhere. I loved it, but I found myself wanting to be in Oklahoma frequently. The traffic alone nearly ruined the trip. I could never live there, but I would love to go back again.

I'll try and talk Steph into writing about her trip. Although, I can't imagine it will be much more than "I ate until I felt like puking, then drank till I passed out by the pool."

Marriage

Marriage has gotten a bad reputation. At least it seems that way. Married people annoy me. Like a lot. (I am married….). Anywho, this is why. Whenever people my age get married (mid 20s) I feel like they try so so so hard to be grown-ups and to do what they think they’re supposed to do when they get married. Which is get super lame and annoying. Not true, kids. Just because you’re married doesn’t mean you have to change a single thing about yourself. Except maybe stop whoring yourself around, if you’re into that. It’s sad to me to see so many people I knew from college get married and then just become different people. And guess what, females? You don’t have to become a stepford wife when you get married! Great news, right? Right, so stop doing it! If you’re a stay at home wife at the age of 24, I hate you and I’m judging you so hard. So hard. This is 2012. Be a strong woman. Go out and make a career for yourself. Pay your own bills. Save your own money for your own retirement. Don’t give up on your dreams just because you got married. Your husband is not your guardian. He’s your partner. I’m not against marriage whatsoever. I’m actually a huge believer in marriage. I love it. I love the concept of it and I think it’s amazing. It just creeps me out how some people react to it. And I’m not saying you don’t have to compromise anything for your marriage. Of course you do. It’s a huge part of the commitment. I’m just saying don’t lose who you are when you do get married.

I’m clearly a pro at marriage, with my whole 3 years of experience with it. Not really, I just have very strong beliefs and opinions about it.

Rant over.

Google keywords

People have found this blog by typing in "Channing Tatum beard," and "tanning chatum."

This makes my day and I don't know why.

Olympic fever.

Things have been quiet on the blog front lately. I don't know what Steph's excuse is (taking care of her two toddlers Ryan & Charlie is a tough job). But, I have been extremely busy...watching every second of the Olympics!!!!!!!!

No, seriously I have every second of coverage taped. I don't know what is more compelling, seeing amazing athletes compete for their country and have glorious moments, or watching amazing athletes compete and have their dreams shattered.

Call me cruel, but that shit is entertaining.

I also happen to love watching all the swimmers. And by that I mean staring at their bodies. Australians glorious James Magnussen, and our home grown boys Nathan Adrian, Ryan Lochte, and the GREATEST OLYMPIAN OF ALL TIME Michael Phelps are just a few who light my fire.

Speaking of Ryan Lochte...what a beautiful douche bag. I don't know what's the worst part about him, his need to compare himself to Phelps (pssh HA), his catch phrase "jeah", or that he tried to wear a "grill" or whatever the heck that was on the medal stand. Thankfully as soon as the Olympics are over we will stop having to listen to him talk.

Another thing I love about the Olympics? Visa commercials. Yeah. I want to cry usually when I hear Morgan Freeman's voice (it's so beautiful!!) now add a backstory about the little Russian girl who wanted to be a gymnast but had to be a legendary pole vaulter instead?! I'm sobbing!

The great moments, the heroes that are made, the cocky sob's that fall on their faces, and Morgan Freeman are just a few of the many things I love about the games. What do you love most??

Least favorite thing about them: when male divers land in the pool and their speedos come off. It happens and it is not good.

Andes Mint Cookies

You know those super annoying people who post pictures on Facebook of crap that they baked and/or cooked all the time and the caption is "Thanks, Pinterest!" Hate them. Well that's what I'm doing right now. Whatever. This is worth it.

Anywho, these are Andes Mint Cookies. Recipe found on Pinterest.

There really are only 4 ingredients:

1 box of Devil's Food cake mix
1/2 cup of oil
2 eggs
1 package of Andes Mints


And if you need a visual -

So first you're going to set your oven to 350 degrees. Then you're going to mix the cake mix, oil, and eggs together. Do not use a mixer, just a spoon. The batter is really thick and if you use a mixer it will get all caught in it and it will be really hard to get it out. Learned that the hard way.

Next, you're going to drop spoonfuls of the batter on cookie sheets. Bake them for 6-9 minutes, that's it. You don't want them to be overdone. I just did 6 minutes because I was getting really nervous.

They should look something like that. Then you're going to pop a little Andes mint on each one of them. Like this.

That was so hard. Then you're going to let them sit like that for about 5 minutes until the Andes mints are melted. Then, take a spoon and spread out each of the mints like they're frosting.

Goodness gracious. Then let them cool and EAT THEM. They are freaking delicious. Really rich, but really freaking amazing. Enjoy!!!

-Steph

Sunday Night Blues

It's Sunday night. That means everyone is depressed about how it's almost Monday and the start of a new work week. Sooo here's a little pick me up.

Magic Mike is still the best movie ever. Jenna Dewan, you are one lucky bitch and I hate you.

-Steph

Weight loss ish.

Let's put the snark on hold for a second -

If you know me at all, you know that I've spent the past year and a half dedicated to getting healthy. Yesterday I took my measurements again and wasn't too happy with the results as i compared my measurements and weight with ones I had taken in the past. After 6 months, 1 half marathon, and countless training miles, I have lost 1 inch and not a single pound.

My first thought was "ugh, that's nothing. And I've worked so hard!" I was frustrated, but when I really thought about it I was unsure why that upset me. I'm shrinking. I'm stronger. This is a victory.

I originally began losing weight in January of 2011. The initial weight loss was rapid - I lost 25 pounds in the first month and a half. By the end of 2011 I was down 50 pounds total. But, after I hit the 50 pound mark I hit the dreaded wall and have yet to clear it.

I'm a very firm believer that we make our own happiness. We can control what we can, and everything else shouldn't be our concern. You don't like your job but you can't find a new one? MAKE yourself LOVE what you do. Desperate to get married but can't find a man to save your life? Be too concerned with living live and having adventures to think about what you don't have.

I guess that's why I've been so successful with losing weight. I felt fat, and ugly so I decided to stop being those things. I could control what food I put in my mouth and how often I sat on the couch.

Despite my success, I still battle with numbers and vicious thoughts. "You can't be beautiful unless you weigh 140 pounds," the voice in the back of my head whispers.

I feel like the scale has become that thing that tells me no day after day. You won't be thin. It's not in your DNA. But day after day I hit the gym, leave feeling great and the number that I see every morning doesn't matter.

I reached my goal of losing 50 pounds and getting healthy. Now, I need to focus on what else I can control. I can control how I feel about my weight. I'm putting up the scale and I'm not going to weigh myself for one month. This is a huge deal for me because I typically weigh myself every morning. I'm a little terrified honestly because that number has controlled me for so long. But I'm tired of letting something so insignificant have a hold of me.


-Sarah

Smoothies schmoothies

My diet has been pretty dull lately so I decided to spice things up. Unfortunately I consider making a salad to be too much cooking, so my options were limited.

Thankfully I have a secret weapon. For Christmas my parents surprised me with a Ninja blender (I think the dozen or so pleading texts tipped them off that I neeeeded it). It's been my pride and joy ever since. While I use it often, I have never experimented with it. That is, until now.

This new concoction that I have discovered tastes like a little piece of Hawaii.

Ingredients:
1 cup frozen pineapples
1 banana
1 cup unsweetened coconut milk
2 tbs agave (I used honey flavored agave)
1 cup ice cubes

Stick all those suckers in your Ninja (or none superhero blender) and press blend. It's one tasty treat that is perfect when you want something delicious but don't have much time to spare!

-Sarah

The cutest dogs on the face of the planet.

Steph and I are dog people. Not just the "oh, dogs are cute. I can keep one alive as long as it sleeps in a cage," type people. I'm talking the "omg look how cute he is, isn't he cute? Wanna see a picture? This is a better angle of him. Look at him in the car. Look at him smiling at the camera," type people.

Honestly though, if you had dogs this cute, wouldn't you be that way to?

The problem is, that they are both completely bonkers. Cooper has little man's disease, and Charlie is just well...a little slow.

(Internal dialog: durrrrrrrrrrrrrrr)

Charlie (Charles Xavier - Steph's pride and joy) is a three year old Golden Retriever whose favorites activities include eating grass, picking up the mail, and making out with Ryan. He is terrified of Cooper, and he considers him his best friend. Frenemies. 

(Mom. Mommy. Momma. Mom. Moooom)

Cooper (my little terror) is a two year old Bichon Frise whose loves going on long walks, barking at babies, attacking my friends, and intimidating Charlie. He's bratty, but super cute. Just like his owner. Ahem.

We are both surrounded by cute little pups in our lives, but these are the stars of our hearts. Don't feel bad if your pooch doesn't rival either of these fellas on the cuteness scale. At least yours probably try to bite off his tail like this moron:

I realize now, that this post makes me seem a little nuts. One step closer to being the crazy old dog lady. 

-Sarah 

Race recap: Color Me Rad 5K

Today I completed the Color Me Rad 5K at the Oklahoma state fairgrounds. On paper, this sounded like a blast. Who doesn't like the idea of having paint thrown at you while you are gasping for air? I love a good 5K with a twist (I will never forget the Warrior Dash...you know that one time I came home from running looking like I had been beaten up), but what should have been organized chaos ended up just being pure chaos (see urban dictionary: clusterf*ck).

(Nice and clean pre race. I'm the giant)

I like the idea behind this. No timer, no music, just running. Unfortunately what it came off looking like was an unorganized mess. The starting line was in a giant parking lot with over 7,000 participants. There were no corrals, or even a marked area directing people where to line up.

They attempted a wave start, but because it wasn't based on one's mile time, the large groups of walkers throughout the course were never ending (human beings of the slower variety, not to be confused with zombies).

The color bomb stations were fairly organized and fun, but I personally don't want powdered anything being thrown in my face after I just ran a mile. Plus, I can't think straight when I'm running so I panicked and thought it was deadly poison for a split second...

The course itself was nothing exciting (we were at the fairgrounds...) and I didn't appreciate running on gravel for a large part of it.

There was one water station, and they were handing our BOTTLES of water. People were opening them, taking a few sips, and throwing them away. What a waste of water & money! There was water at the finish line, but there were also color bombs going off everywhere. Can I get some corn starch with my water please?

(Post race. That is not facial hair.)

I strongly support any initiative that promotes physical activity and raises money for a good cause, however a lack of organization at an event with thousands of people is not fun.

I did get something out of this besides a purple stained bra. I came to terms with the fact that I do not enjoy races. Running is very personal for me. It's my opportunity to tune out the world and try to do better than I did yesterday. It's so hard at races to be in that state of mind.

I won't be running this again next year, but it was certainly an experience and I'm glad I did it. Don't be scared off from running it yourself. Hopefully there will be some organization next year and the race shirts are pretty awesome. Plus, they give you sunglasses. I would do just about anything for free sunglasses.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to scrub my hair again.

- Sarah

The greatest weekend of all time.

Last weekend was the greatest weekend of our lives. You may think I'm kidding...I'm not.

This happened:

(Yes, I made that extra large for you)

More specifically THIS:

We finaaally got to see Magic Mike. Magic Mike is a charming little tale starring Channing Tatum or Tanning Chatum. It is about a young man by the name of Mike. Mike has a job, he strips. He does other stuff too, but mostly he just strips and parties. It's a rough life. I think he cried in the movie? I'm not really sure what the story line was but that film should win an Oscar! Or at least an MTV movie award...

On Saturday, Steph and I did something super nerdy, but of course not uncharacteristic. Come on, we've been to Harry Potter midnight showings wearing HP t-shirts (it doesn't get much nerdier, unless of course, one of you carried a wand...). ANYWAYS, we went to a Hunger Games themed Wine and Palette. What is a wine and palette you ask? It is an event where you go to a restaurant and paint a pre-determined painting while drinking wine. Honestly, I thought it was pretty stupid the first time I heard about it, but it's actually a lot of fun, even if you don't necessarily have any painting skills.

Each wine and palette is led by an artist who walks you step by step through the process.

In order to dig deep and find the artist within, I opted for a margarita rather than wine.  It's a rather lengthy process (typically three hours) but the the alcohol makes you forget that you are wasting a beautiful Saturday afternoon in a restaurant!

Is she making us draw the creepy monster from Aliens?! 

That damn mockingjay was really difficult to draw, but getting to splatter black paint all over the place was really fun. I think that says something about my anger issues...

Ahem, we free handed those circles.

The finished product! You can bet I have that hanging in my room. And, by room I mean hidden in my closet.

-Sarah

50 Shades of WHAT

Let's talk about this ridiculous book:

I'm not ashamed to say I read it. Maybe a little. But I just wanted to know what everyone was freaking out about. I'm sure most people in the world have heard of it and know what it's about so I won't get into the details too much. But basically a nerdy college girl (Anastasia) who has never had a date and/or boyfriend meets a billionaire (Christian Grey) and acts super awkward and shy around him, and that somehow causes him to be completely infatuated with her.

So of course she goes right along with it and doesn't ask questions. He buys her cars and computers, what's not to love? That is, until she learns what a FREAK he is. He's a big weirdo with contracts for her to sign, a sex room in his house, and strict rules for how he wants her to live her life. And she just does it! WTF. He also treats her like she's his child, which I found extremely annoying.

Probably 90% of the book is a sex scene. There were definitely some gross parts that were too inappropriate and weird even for a big pervert like myself, but for the most part I didn't find it THAT shocking. I read the first maybe 100 pages and put it down for a couple of weeks because it was weirding me out and pissing me off. But then I got curious again and read the rest. I've heard people say it helps spice things up in their relationship? Whatever blows your skirt up, kids.

Apparently, it is also being made into a movie. So that will be awkward.

I recommend you read it just to know what the fuss is about. It's not a well written book, but I don't think anyone expected it to end up being a classic piece of literature, right? So read it. YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO. Just maybe order it off of Amazon so you don't have to face anyone while you're buying it. And don't read it in public places. And maybe don't recommend it to someone like I don't know, your mother-in-law, or she might lose all respect for you. I also may or may not have already bought the 2nd book in the series.

Laters, baby.

Gone Girl

I recently finished Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn, and I can't stop thinking about it. Both of her previous novels (Dark Places and Sharp Objects) left me both disgusted and mesmerized, I really didn't think she could do it again.

Synopsis (from her website)
On a warm summer morning in North Carthage, Missouri, it is Nick and Amy’s fifth wedding anniversary. Presents are being wrapped and reservations are being made when Nick Dunne’s clever and beautiful wife disappears from their rented McMansion on the Mississippi River. Husband-of-the-Year Nick Dunne isn’t doing himself any favors with cringe-worthy daydreams about the slope and shape of his wife’s head, but hearing from Amy through flashbacks in her diary reveal the perky perfectionist could have put anyone dangerously on edge. Under mounting pressure from the police and the media—as well as Amy’s fiercely doting parents—the town golden boy parades an endless series of lies, deceits, and inappropriate behavior. Nick is oddly evasive, and he’s definitely bitter—but is he really a killer? As the cops close in, every couple in town is soon wondering how well they know the one that they love. With his twin sister Margo at his side, Nick stands by his innocence. Trouble is, if Nick didn’t do it, where is that beautiful wife? And what was left in that silvery gift box hidden in the back of her bedroom closet?


What she does so well in all of her books, is create characters that you shouldn't root for, yet you somehow find yourself at 1 a.m., several hundred pages deep into the book cheering and worrying about someone with some serious character flaws.


I don't want to give away any details, because I want you to be as engrossed in this as I was. The suspense and mystery in this will keep you up all night, you will be lied to, and you will want more.  While I HATE books with sequels (no more unnecessary trilogies please) I reached the end of this and needed more. I think it's safe to say that won't happen - instead, I'll just count down the days until Flynn's next masterpiece and wonder what possible freak show she'll think up next.


-Sarah

Let's go streaking!

It happens all the time. I get these...ideas. Pick up mountain biking, it can't be that difficult with one arm! Spend $4,000 on a trip to Italy for the hell of it. Run a half-marathon, the surgeon only said you shouldn't run a full marathon!

This time I got the bright idea to do the Runner's World summer run streak. What is this moronic thing you ask? It's a simple challenge that requires you to run at least one mile every day from Memorial Day to the 4th of July. Not too hard right?

What do you get at the end? A shiny medal? A giant cake with your face on it? No. You get nothing but tired knees. Oh, and a high water bill because DAMN that's a lot of laundry,

If you can't tell, I'm a little discouraged.  I've been perfect so far and haven't missed a single day. However, instead of feeling stronger with each passing day, I just feel more and more like a crappy runner with the knees of a 60 year old. That creaking noise aint normal folks!

What's so great about running anyways? Why the sudden surge in popularity? After college, you don't have anything to constantly be working towards on a regular basis. For many recent grads, it seems like running fills that void. We need something to work towards. We crave success. Immediately when you are done running, you feel like a badass. Who doesn't want to experience that once a day?

Despite today's attitude, I hit the treadmill and managed to get a solid 3 miles done in 32 minutes. I am going to finish this damn thing! My mile time has significantly improved, so there's that. Plus, I may complain before every run but I'm smiling like a weirdo after.

On the 4th of July, I will eat a GIANT cookie the size of my face and I will think twice about getting anymore bright ideas.

Who am I kidding? Anybody want to get certified to scuba dive?

-Sarah

Call me crazy

Yes, I am aware that I don't have the best track record when it comes to music. I worship Lady Gaga, and I may or may not own every song that Glee has released. But, I swear to mother monster, if I hear the song "Call me maybe" one more time, I will set my hair on fire.

This little Canadian weirdo was discovered by Justin Beiber. OF COURSE. This is what happens when you give a 12 year old boy power America!

Pretty Little Losers

Once upon a time there were two college students from opposite sides of the tracks. As different as two girls could be: one was tall, the other was taller. One liked Nsync, the other liked the Backstreet Boys.  One was a pasty brunette from the suburbs of Indianapolis, the other was a fiery red head from America's armpit...Tulsa, Oklahoma.

Their paths crossed on one fateful day in Stillwater, OK where they were both attending the great Oklahoma State University. The redhead (she has a name, it's Steph) started dating the Hoosiers older brother, Ryan.

Both young woman were in need of a roommate, and much to his later horror, Ryan talked Steph and his sister Sarah into living together. They quickly realized their mutual love for macaroni and cheese, alcohol, Doritos, and Britney Spears. Within weeks of being roommates, the food soul mates became best friends. And so our story begins...

That was 7 years ago. We are now sister-in-laws living within 5 minutes of each other in Oklahoma City.

I (this is Sarah btw, the one on the left in the picture above) spend most of my time working in a cubicle, running, biking (as in I've done it twice), and hanging out with the main fella in my life...my dog Cooper.

His full name is Cooper Tiberious Peyton Sarah Johnson, but you can call him Coop.

Steph and my older brother married a few years ago, and now live with their fury child Charles. Steph spends most of her time eating and watching the real housewives of India or Tibet.

Yes, she had professional photos done of him. 

So that's it. Together, we make a strange duo. What will we write about? Whatever the hell tickles our fancy, that's what. There will be wine and whining. Running, eating, reality TV, books, and Big Dick Richie are just a few of the things we may talk about. Oh and we will also update you on the latest flavors of Doritos.